7 Things Your Cat Would Say to You if He Could Talk :-)

I'm Sorry I Broke Your Antique Vase

I know it is not an excuse, but those flowers in the vase smelled so good that I thought I'd like a taste of them. Those old plastic flowers you had in it before were hard and crunchy, but they didn't taste good at all. These flowers that were in the vase taste as good as they smell.

Maybe if you had put the vase up on the refrigerator, I would not have been able to reach it. Or maybe you could have put a pretty metal bowl on that table filled with some nice tasty kitty treats I could eat, you would not be so upset with me right now.

I Don't Feel so Good Since I Ate Those Flowers

I threw up after I ate those pretty flowers, but I still feel sick. You know how much I hate going to that sick cat place, but I always feel better when I get back home. Will you please take me there? Right away?

Thank you, I feel much better already and I promise never to eat those poisonous flowers again.

Can You Play With Me Today?

Would you please spend some time playing with me today? It always makes me so happy when we play together. I love playing with that bird on a string. I can still jump high to catch it, even though I'm no longer a kitten.

And sometimes you let me catch the bird, until I start to drag it away. Sometimes I chase it for so long that I get tired, so you put it away up high so I can't reach it.

Or maybe you would like to play the red light game. I love to chase that light along the floor, and I can run almost as fast as the red dot can.If you make it go around in circles, I can either ride it like a merry-ro-round, or I can sit in the middle and catch it when it comes past.

It's really, REALLY fun when the red dot climbs the wall. I can jump really high and catch it, and I always land on my feet when I come down. That's a pretty amazing talent we cats have, landing on our feet.

Oh, I almost forgot one thing. Thank you for being so careful that the dot doesn't ever shine in my eyes. I know you do that so it won't damage my sight, and I really appreciate it.

Please, Can You Give Me Variety in my Food?

I know that you want to feed me the most nutritious food you can afford, and I really do like this flavor. But once in awhile I yearn for something different, like maybe beef and vegetables.

Or even tuna, once in a great while. I know red tuna is not good for cats, 'cause we develop a disease called steatitis. But But maybe just one meal of cat food with ahi tuna every two weeks or so wouldn't be too bad. Maybe you could ask my doctor if that would be all right.

I Wish I Could Go Outside

I enjoy looking out the windows and seeing all the pretty flowers, And the birds, and the animals like raccoons and deer---and skunks. I don't think I'd like to see a bear, though. But the bears only come around at night. I don't think I'd like to go outside at night

But if you got me a harness and a leash, maybe you could take me outside during the day. The only time I've been outside during the day was when I was just a kitten living on the street. But you loved me enough to rescue me and bring me home to be your forever cat.

And now the only time I get to go outside is in that cat crate when you take me to the cat doctor place. That really isn't what I'd call outside fun

Please can we get a harness and a lesh so I can go outside with you? Oh, THANK

We Need a New Scratching Post

I know you get a little miffed at me when I scratch the top of your leather office chair. Or the arms of your leather sofa and loveseat. But really, Mom! Have you taken a look at our scratching post lately? With six cats using it now, it looks pretty ratty.

Yes, you've supplied us with plenty of cat towers throughout the house with built-in scratching posts and we enjoy them too. But in the evening when you are watching television, I like to come out and get some nice scratching exercise. That old worn out thing just doesn't cut it.

We'd all be really happy campers with a brand new Purrfect Post in the living room. You've always been so anti-declaw, and believe me, we all appreciate that! And you, yourself, have said many times that a good scratching post will discourage cats from scratching furniture.

To borrow a phrase from you, we rest our case.

Thank You For Being Such a Good Cat Mom

Don't think we don't appreciate that you have always considered your cats to be members of your family, just like your own human children. Our welfare has always come first with you. We know there are times you have deprived yourself to make sure we had the best food, excellent veterinary care, as well as toys and cat furniture and a loving home atmosphere.

Yes, you've made a few mistakes. Even we cats aren't entirely perfect. But we know you learn by your mistakes, then you help other people learn by your mistakes. We cats don't always learn by our mistakes, so we're grateful to have you watching out for us.And at the end of the day, when you cuddle me in your arms as I purr us both to sleep, I feel like I'm in Kitty Heaven. Thank you for loving all of us, unconditionally.